Thursday, October 06, 2005
Appearances
Human behavior fascinates me. We are the most intelligent creatures on this planet, but we behave in some very irrational ways. Perhaps the most obvious area we can see this in is that of appearance. In the animal kingdom, animals are the way they are. Regardless of gender, animals rarely ever put on make up, curl their hair, suck their stomachs in when a female walks by, or resort to a comb-over or a toupe to hide hair loss. And you'll never hear even domesticated animals say, "Do you think this collar makes my neck look fat?" Animals may care what a potential mate looks like, but they really don't take steps to get themselves gussied up. This, of course, is not the case with people.
The human female is obsessed with looking young. Yes, it's in great part to how the male of the species reacts, but regardless, women are obsessed. They tease, they cinch, they paint themselves. All to make themselves beautiful for men. This obsession is so strong that someone actually thought, "You know, if I sucked some of the fat from my rear, I could inject it into my face and get rid of some of my wrinkles." And not only did this individual think about and do it, he/she convinced others that it was a good idea! But, before we come down too hard on women, we should look at men.
Men aren't any better. Especially older men. Older men actually believe that younger women are interested in them. Men buy sports cars, get plugs, and behave differently whenever younger women are around. Mature (old) men, whenever a young-looking woman (who has, perhaps, just had her fat stores rearranged) walks by, will puff out their chests and begin to engage in activities they no longer have any business participating in: football, skateboarding, parasailing--all in an effort to impress these women who aren't remotely impressed by sweaty, sore old guys. Any woman will tell you that what an older man needs to impress a younger woman is not youthful behavior or good looks, but plenty of money. Exhibit #1: Donald Trump.
But perhaps the human behavior that especially fascinates me in the area of appearance is when people intentionally fail to let others know they look bad. This lesson was brought home for me when I discovered hair growing out of my ears shortly after my 32nd birthday. The hairs were thin and blond, but they were aproximately half an inch long by the time I noticed them; and there were quite a few of them! Now, I know my hair doesn't grow fast enough for these sprouts to have shot up over night, but what I don't know is how I failed to see them until I did. I mean, other people had to have noticed these things. Surely they must've been wondering, "how in the world can this guy stand to have a shrub growing out of his ear?" But, of course, no one said anything. Like school picture day in the third grade when you had broccoli stuck in your teeth. Or that time you accidently tucked your dark shirt into the back of your underwear and the waistband of your Fruit of the Loom's stuck out above your pants for half a day which just so happened to be the day of your dream job interview.
I suspect that not letting someone know they've got the back of their dress caught in the waistband of their pantyhose (no, this has never happened to me) is a person's way of making themselves look better by comparison. Unless the other person has a fantastic-looking butt (either after suction or before).
The human female is obsessed with looking young. Yes, it's in great part to how the male of the species reacts, but regardless, women are obsessed. They tease, they cinch, they paint themselves. All to make themselves beautiful for men. This obsession is so strong that someone actually thought, "You know, if I sucked some of the fat from my rear, I could inject it into my face and get rid of some of my wrinkles." And not only did this individual think about and do it, he/she convinced others that it was a good idea! But, before we come down too hard on women, we should look at men.
Men aren't any better. Especially older men. Older men actually believe that younger women are interested in them. Men buy sports cars, get plugs, and behave differently whenever younger women are around. Mature (old) men, whenever a young-looking woman (who has, perhaps, just had her fat stores rearranged) walks by, will puff out their chests and begin to engage in activities they no longer have any business participating in: football, skateboarding, parasailing--all in an effort to impress these women who aren't remotely impressed by sweaty, sore old guys. Any woman will tell you that what an older man needs to impress a younger woman is not youthful behavior or good looks, but plenty of money. Exhibit #1: Donald Trump.
But perhaps the human behavior that especially fascinates me in the area of appearance is when people intentionally fail to let others know they look bad. This lesson was brought home for me when I discovered hair growing out of my ears shortly after my 32nd birthday. The hairs were thin and blond, but they were aproximately half an inch long by the time I noticed them; and there were quite a few of them! Now, I know my hair doesn't grow fast enough for these sprouts to have shot up over night, but what I don't know is how I failed to see them until I did. I mean, other people had to have noticed these things. Surely they must've been wondering, "how in the world can this guy stand to have a shrub growing out of his ear?" But, of course, no one said anything. Like school picture day in the third grade when you had broccoli stuck in your teeth. Or that time you accidently tucked your dark shirt into the back of your underwear and the waistband of your Fruit of the Loom's stuck out above your pants for half a day which just so happened to be the day of your dream job interview.
I suspect that not letting someone know they've got the back of their dress caught in the waistband of their pantyhose (no, this has never happened to me) is a person's way of making themselves look better by comparison. Unless the other person has a fantastic-looking butt (either after suction or before).
Labels: appearances
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