Friday, September 30, 2005
Life with Teenage Daughters
My entire life I have been around women of varying ages. I grew up in a family with a mom and two sisters and am currently the husband of a wonderful woman and the father of two terrific daughters. With this background, one would think I would be some kind of expert on women, right? Wrong! How could I be? I’m a guy.
I can’t even figure out my teenage daughters. As a man, I am not capable of understanding what goes on inside any female mind. Often, in my sincere efforts to help my daughters, I will ask perfectly logical questions or make reasonable recommendations. These are frequently met with an eye roll or with a look suggesting the discovery of an incredibly offensive odor (my personal favorite).
For example, my oldest daughter likes a boy. No, let me rephrase that–she adores a boy. But rather than doing anything about it, she prefers to admire him from afar. I, while not all that crazy about the prospect of my daughters dating in the first place, make a genuine effort to help. “Just say hi to him,” I suggest. What I get in return is the aforementioned look. I tell her that if she waits too long, he’ll find a girlfriend and then where will she be then? Does my input help? I’m not sure it even registers. She continues to believe that this boy, who has received no indication that she has the slightest interest in him, will pick up on signals too subtle to be picked up on the most sensitive Richter Scale. And we all know how well teenage boys do with subtleties.
Of course, my youngest daughter is no easier to reason with. We’ll be getting ready for church and she’ll come out of her room, strike a pose, and ask, “What do you think?” Usually, her outfits are great, but occasionally she’ll come out looking like she not only got dressed in a blackout but that she chose her clothes then as well. Very tactfully I’ll tell her why the outfit doesn't work and suggest that she find something else, even making recommendations for other articles of clothing that will go with something she's already got on and that would be more appropriate or appealing. At this point her demeanor changes from happy-go-lucky to one equating with that of the newest and most depressed member of the broken hearts club. She'll slink back into her room which is no longer large enough to contain her gloom and start over. When she finally comes out of her bedroom again, she has, of course, taken none of my suggestions, but is instead wearing something entirely different. Again, she poses the dreaded question. After repeating this a few times in one morning, I'm thinking, "Why do you ask if you're not going to take my advice anyway?"
Life with teenage daughters isn't always difficult; in fact, there are many nice moments. And I've learned to accept that understanding them isn't a prerequisite to loving them. And that's good, because I don't think I'll ever understand them; but I'll always love them.
I can’t even figure out my teenage daughters. As a man, I am not capable of understanding what goes on inside any female mind. Often, in my sincere efforts to help my daughters, I will ask perfectly logical questions or make reasonable recommendations. These are frequently met with an eye roll or with a look suggesting the discovery of an incredibly offensive odor (my personal favorite).
For example, my oldest daughter likes a boy. No, let me rephrase that–she adores a boy. But rather than doing anything about it, she prefers to admire him from afar. I, while not all that crazy about the prospect of my daughters dating in the first place, make a genuine effort to help. “Just say hi to him,” I suggest. What I get in return is the aforementioned look. I tell her that if she waits too long, he’ll find a girlfriend and then where will she be then? Does my input help? I’m not sure it even registers. She continues to believe that this boy, who has received no indication that she has the slightest interest in him, will pick up on signals too subtle to be picked up on the most sensitive Richter Scale. And we all know how well teenage boys do with subtleties.
Of course, my youngest daughter is no easier to reason with. We’ll be getting ready for church and she’ll come out of her room, strike a pose, and ask, “What do you think?” Usually, her outfits are great, but occasionally she’ll come out looking like she not only got dressed in a blackout but that she chose her clothes then as well. Very tactfully I’ll tell her why the outfit doesn't work and suggest that she find something else, even making recommendations for other articles of clothing that will go with something she's already got on and that would be more appropriate or appealing. At this point her demeanor changes from happy-go-lucky to one equating with that of the newest and most depressed member of the broken hearts club. She'll slink back into her room which is no longer large enough to contain her gloom and start over. When she finally comes out of her bedroom again, she has, of course, taken none of my suggestions, but is instead wearing something entirely different. Again, she poses the dreaded question. After repeating this a few times in one morning, I'm thinking, "Why do you ask if you're not going to take my advice anyway?"
Life with teenage daughters isn't always difficult; in fact, there are many nice moments. And I've learned to accept that understanding them isn't a prerequisite to loving them. And that's good, because I don't think I'll ever understand them; but I'll always love them.
Labels: life with teenage daughters, mystery, opposite sex
One for the Guys
Some things don't make sense to me. Take women for example. I've been married for seventeen years now and have two teenage daughters. Not only that, but I grew up in a family with a mother and two sisters. Yet, the feminine mind still mysitfies me. And I don't think I'll ever figure out what goes on in their heads.
To make matters worse, women know that men don't understand them and they use that knowledge to their advantage. Case in point: a woman will ask her husband questions she knows he can't answer. The most common questions wives ask are about their appearance (Do you think I'm fat? or Do these pants make my butt look big?) and about other women (You don't think she's pretty, do you?). My question (which men can't answer either) is how do we answer these questions without paying for it later? No answer we give will be satisfactory. If we tell the truth they get mad at us and if we lie they don't believe us anyway. We can't win and women know it. And I think they enjoy using this against us too. But this is only half of it; I think they look for ways to entrap us also.
I recently discovered an example that I believe illustrates my point. I work at a men's fitness club. This facility is just like Curves, but is only for guys. Because the concepts are similar, the owner of the local Curves allows us to put leads cards at her facility. Her clients are not the least bit shy about putting their husbands names in the leads container so we can call them about our program. What gets me, though, is that Curves has a leads container in our club also. Now, what guy in his right mind is going to write his wife's name on a piece of paper that would allow a fitness club to contact her. As soon as she knows the lead came from her husband (and believe me, she'll know), he's in trouble. "So you do think I'm fat!" she'll cry. "You think I'm a fat, ugly pig!" And at that point, the only thing that will bring the husband back into her graces will be dinner out, flowers, and jewelry.
Huh, maybe I'm beginning to understand a little about the female mind after all.
To make matters worse, women know that men don't understand them and they use that knowledge to their advantage. Case in point: a woman will ask her husband questions she knows he can't answer. The most common questions wives ask are about their appearance (Do you think I'm fat? or Do these pants make my butt look big?) and about other women (You don't think she's pretty, do you?). My question (which men can't answer either) is how do we answer these questions without paying for it later? No answer we give will be satisfactory. If we tell the truth they get mad at us and if we lie they don't believe us anyway. We can't win and women know it. And I think they enjoy using this against us too. But this is only half of it; I think they look for ways to entrap us also.
I recently discovered an example that I believe illustrates my point. I work at a men's fitness club. This facility is just like Curves, but is only for guys. Because the concepts are similar, the owner of the local Curves allows us to put leads cards at her facility. Her clients are not the least bit shy about putting their husbands names in the leads container so we can call them about our program. What gets me, though, is that Curves has a leads container in our club also. Now, what guy in his right mind is going to write his wife's name on a piece of paper that would allow a fitness club to contact her. As soon as she knows the lead came from her husband (and believe me, she'll know), he's in trouble. "So you do think I'm fat!" she'll cry. "You think I'm a fat, ugly pig!" And at that point, the only thing that will bring the husband back into her graces will be dinner out, flowers, and jewelry.
Huh, maybe I'm beginning to understand a little about the female mind after all.
Labels: guys, manipulation, women
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Let's Eat
Jim sat in his favorite recliner, a warm plate of scrambled eggs, toast, and hashbrowns on the table beside him and a newspaper in his lap. He rifled through the paper, finally settling on the arts and entertainment section. His eyes eagerly scanned the pages for the review of the west end's newest restaurant, Jean Claude's.
Jim's wife Penny entered the room and sat on the overstuffed sofa across from him."Is that the review?"
"Yep."
"How does it look?"
"Looks good. Real good."
"What does it say?"
"It says the food was supurb, the presentation top-notch, and the atmosphere fantastic."
"So, what do you say? You want me to call and make a reservation? I know it'll be a while, but if I call today, we can get in as early as possible."
"Nah."
"Why not?"
"You know that Brad Allen who writes the reviews?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, he wrote about his meal with such passion that it's as if I've already eaten. In fact, I'm so full, I think I'll skip breakfast this morning." With that, Jim picked up his still-full plate, strode into the kitchen, and dumped the plate's contents down the disposal, chasing it with a stream of water.
Walking back into the living room, Jim glanced at Penny who still had a confused look on her face.
"What?" he asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"How does it look?"
"Looks good. Real good."
"What does it say?"
"It says the food was supurb, the presentation top-notch, and the atmosphere fantastic."
"So, what do you say? You want me to call and make a reservation? I know it'll be a while, but if I call today, we can get in as early as possible."
"Nah."
"Why not?"
"You know that Brad Allen who writes the reviews?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, he wrote about his meal with such passion that it's as if I've already eaten. In fact, I'm so full, I think I'll skip breakfast this morning." With that, Jim picked up his still-full plate, strode into the kitchen, and dumped the plate's contents down the disposal, chasing it with a stream of water.
Walking back into the living room, Jim glanced at Penny who still had a confused look on her face.
"What?" he asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Christianity is full of Jims. A great many people are content to go to church for their spiritual meal without "eating" during the week. They are satisfied to listen to someone who has tasted and digested a meal for him- or herself describe it. Were we to eat one meal a week or, worse still, simply listen to someone else tell about a meal he or she has eaten, we wouldn't survive long. And certainly our spiritual health is of at least as much importance as our physical health.
In Acts 17:11, the apostle Paul spoke highly of the people of Berea on this matter. He commended them for their spiritual hunger, that they not only "received the word [of God] with all readienss of heart, [but that they] searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so." This is what God wants for us as well. We have been invited to "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Ps. 34:8) and are told that "man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God" (Matt. 4:4).
Jesus also said that He was the Bread of Life (Jn. 6:35) and that we should ask our Heavenly Father to give us our daily bread (Matt. 6:11).
Hungry yet? Let's eat.
In Acts 17:11, the apostle Paul spoke highly of the people of Berea on this matter. He commended them for their spiritual hunger, that they not only "received the word [of God] with all readienss of heart, [but that they] searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so." This is what God wants for us as well. We have been invited to "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Ps. 34:8) and are told that "man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God" (Matt. 4:4).
Jesus also said that He was the Bread of Life (Jn. 6:35) and that we should ask our Heavenly Father to give us our daily bread (Matt. 6:11).
Hungry yet? Let's eat.
Labels: Bereans, Let's Eat, modern parable, spiritual food
