Thursday, January 03, 2008
No More Resolutions
Every year, disappointed by myriad personal failures of varying magnitudes, people the world over resolve to make changes for the better. These changes cover the entire scope of the personal improvement spectrum. They resolve to eat less, to eat better, to exercise more (or to finally begin an exercise program), to spend more time with family, to spend less money, to get that promotion, to finish a project, etc.
But this year, I’m not making any resolutions; and neither should you. Why? Because I have discovered a mind-blowing truth about character traits. And the truth has indeed set me free. The truth is that, in each person, character traits exist in a delicate balance. Like energy, which, according to the law of conservation of energy, can neither be created nor destroyed, character traits are also governed by a system of checks and balances. You see, people only possess a certain amount of positive traits at any one time. So, while individuals are capable of improving one or two aspects of their characters, other character traits must diminish to maintain the delicate balance.
This may have come as a shock to you, but I speak from experience.
Last year, one of my resolutions was to lose weight. I spent weeks researching dozens of diet and exercise plans that would fit my schedule and allow me to accomplish my goals. I stuck with the plan for six weeks. In this time, I lost ten pounds, seven friends, and my pleasant disposition. Sure, I looked great, but because of my attitude, I had no one to tell me I looked great. The scale stays balanced.
Need more proof? Consider my resolution from two years ago. Discouraged by my lack of career advancement prospects, I decided to turn things around by going back to school. I poured over my textbooks, used a forest’s worth of paper and pencils on my research projects and reports, and spent countless hours in study groups. And what did I get for all my efforts? A better job and a bigger paycheck? Nope. What I got was a reality check. True, I did become a hard worker, but all my effort was for naught. Did you know that you don’t actually get credit for effort in college (especially if your research is misguided and leads you to the wrong conclusion)? I didn’t know that either. As a result, my self-esteem bottomed out. Again, one improvement leads to one decline.
Anyone considering making a resolution to better ones self needs to weigh the potential improvements against the possible drawbacks. Say for example, you decide to you want to start getting up earlier to get more done. The problem then arises that you have to go to bed earlier. You may get more things done in the morning, but you cut back on your television viewing. This may not seem like a negative effect, but when you go to work and cannot participate in the water cooler conversation, you’ll feel left out. Balance is maintained.
Or, perhaps you decide to work toward that promotion at work. You cut back on your free time (which includes time with your family) and put in an additional 20 – 30 hours a week at work. You get the promotion which improves your self esteem and your bank account and allows you to finally put in the pool you’ve always wanted to give your family. Of course, your new position requires you to continue to spend the long hours at work and before long you find out that your wife has decided to improve her self esteem by being oiled up on a regular basis by the new pool boy, Ramon. So you decide to go to counseling to save your marriage. Your counselor’s advice? More quality time with your family (which means giving up your promotion, losing the extra money that came with it, and being in debt because you’re still paying on the pool you financed based on the big, fat raise your promotion granted you).
See? No matter what you try in the area of character improvement, things will stay balanced. That's why resolutions for personal improvement fail. Now you know!
But this year, I’m not making any resolutions; and neither should you. Why? Because I have discovered a mind-blowing truth about character traits. And the truth has indeed set me free. The truth is that, in each person, character traits exist in a delicate balance. Like energy, which, according to the law of conservation of energy, can neither be created nor destroyed, character traits are also governed by a system of checks and balances. You see, people only possess a certain amount of positive traits at any one time. So, while individuals are capable of improving one or two aspects of their characters, other character traits must diminish to maintain the delicate balance.
This may have come as a shock to you, but I speak from experience.
Last year, one of my resolutions was to lose weight. I spent weeks researching dozens of diet and exercise plans that would fit my schedule and allow me to accomplish my goals. I stuck with the plan for six weeks. In this time, I lost ten pounds, seven friends, and my pleasant disposition. Sure, I looked great, but because of my attitude, I had no one to tell me I looked great. The scale stays balanced.
Need more proof? Consider my resolution from two years ago. Discouraged by my lack of career advancement prospects, I decided to turn things around by going back to school. I poured over my textbooks, used a forest’s worth of paper and pencils on my research projects and reports, and spent countless hours in study groups. And what did I get for all my efforts? A better job and a bigger paycheck? Nope. What I got was a reality check. True, I did become a hard worker, but all my effort was for naught. Did you know that you don’t actually get credit for effort in college (especially if your research is misguided and leads you to the wrong conclusion)? I didn’t know that either. As a result, my self-esteem bottomed out. Again, one improvement leads to one decline.
Anyone considering making a resolution to better ones self needs to weigh the potential improvements against the possible drawbacks. Say for example, you decide to you want to start getting up earlier to get more done. The problem then arises that you have to go to bed earlier. You may get more things done in the morning, but you cut back on your television viewing. This may not seem like a negative effect, but when you go to work and cannot participate in the water cooler conversation, you’ll feel left out. Balance is maintained.
Or, perhaps you decide to work toward that promotion at work. You cut back on your free time (which includes time with your family) and put in an additional 20 – 30 hours a week at work. You get the promotion which improves your self esteem and your bank account and allows you to finally put in the pool you’ve always wanted to give your family. Of course, your new position requires you to continue to spend the long hours at work and before long you find out that your wife has decided to improve her self esteem by being oiled up on a regular basis by the new pool boy, Ramon. So you decide to go to counseling to save your marriage. Your counselor’s advice? More quality time with your family (which means giving up your promotion, losing the extra money that came with it, and being in debt because you’re still paying on the pool you financed based on the big, fat raise your promotion granted you).
See? No matter what you try in the area of character improvement, things will stay balanced. That's why resolutions for personal improvement fail. Now you know!
Labels: New Years Resolutions, Resolutions
